The Morning Jam - Power 98

It poured this morning, sudden burst of rain at 5.50am. As a concerned partner, I thought of Joe & trying to rescue him from getting drenched. (we park @ different carparks, I’m in the shade)

So I made a slight detour to try to pick him up, saw this lone figure walking in the rain with an umbrella. I drove up & he just kept walking! YES JOE DIDN”T WANT TO GET IN THE CAR! He claimed he was only a short distance away from the building & getting in the car would get him more wet! HUH? REJECTED… in the rain… on a mon morning all before 6am! 

The thais are starting to cash in on the protest happening in Bangkok. Massages are being offered, mobile hawkers & souveneirs with the word “WANTED” splashed across the Prime Minister’s face. http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5g-P1F2P1bKu9kX620yR6VDVxHjPQD930LEV84

Hossan met a “celeb” on his way to work this morning. The cab driver who was assaulted by these 2 guys for turning down a TORN note. They BEAT HIM UP! The cabbie was complaining that he had to be hospitalised & his attackers got away with just a stern warning. NO JUSTICE!  Where’s Hossan’s alter ego, the one who responds to the “rabbit on the moon call”, when you need him?

BUILDING SANDCASTLES. Hossan spent his weekend doing that @ East Coast at a place called Castle Beach, right in front of the East Coast food centre. Its meant to encourage family bonding & Hossan had a go only to be told off by a 5 year old! Apparently his foundation wasn’t strong enough, & I don’t mean on his face.

DON”T FRIEND HOSSAN ALREADY! We spoke about how I was thankful my parents were away this weekend so there was no danger of them running off to Hong Lim Park with my photo & details to try to “matchmake” me. He chipped in his pretend aunty voice “Eee…..don’t want so ugly!” WHAT??! He meant the aunties might say that about someone else….hmm..yeah right! But seriously the lengths these parents would go to marry off their offspring!

Annoying Neightbours. Sure u’ve had your fair share of them. My neighbour started leaving a trail of DIRTY shoes outside his door. Up to 5-6 pairs of soccer boots, sneakers etc. ALL dirty, & sandy! So we asked for your suggestions on how to “solve” the problem;

LUCKY   its not a animal carcass like what they show on the discovery channel

GET a landed property no such problem other than that thats why its called common use

CUT   up all shoe laces. Or alternatively, hang up the shoes on his gates. Haha. -adrian

Stuff joss paper into the shoes and stick lighted joss sticks into the shoe.

EASY.   Go “wash” the corridor with huge buckets of water so they flood his shoes and best if the water can get into his unit too.

Joe thinks that I should play mind games. Leave a note that says “I’m sorry about what my dog did to your shoes”

Hossan met Darth & his cronies over the weekend. There is a bunch of Star Wars fans who dress up on a regular basis, full costume & all for a good cause! Because of his height, Hossan learnt he’ll never qualify to play Darth. WHAT he hasn’t learnt is to never ask a geek any question about Star Wars cause you’ll NEVER hear the end of it!

Hurricanes. How are they named? I thought they were named after women but with GUSTAV & IKE making headlines, I guess not. Apparently it alternates from male to female & back again…eh..the names that is. There are 6 set lists of name except when the hurricane is so big & bad, it is given a new name (e.g. Katrina). So Hurricane J is next…Josephine.

Disaster Movie- listen out for your chance to win tickets to the Premiere all this week

It started storming at about 5.53am. It was like Hurricane Hanna made a detour via Depot Road. But we all made it to work safe and dry-ish.
Joe did not bring his size 13 heels! I didn’t bring my shorts! Shareen came fully prepared for the Friday Face-off. So Joe tries to buy his way out of the challenge citing that he does not know where to get his heels from . If you know where to get those stllettos, drop us a line or leave us a message and we will do the Stiletto Race next week shorts and all!

How would you get someone to eat something they wouldn’t wanna eat? for example, getting someone who doesn’t like to eat Durians to eat durians. Shareen had managed to dare Tunde from the Lighthouse Family to try a piece of durian!

Designer labels. For clothes, shoes, bags even computers. But Pigs? Well there are designer pigs available now. In Shanghai, an artist is exhibiting Louis Vuitton pigs. LV bacon next?

Monkey business? Well, it is if a couple of monkeys get married!

And Shareen knew the answer to which animal is best in Mathematics: The Asian Elephant. She said she had a few of those in class in school. Try this then Mr Asian “Best-in -Maths” Elephant -

Uh huh! Stumped now??

Michael Jackson is rumoured to be seeing someone new…! PAMELA ANDERSON! What do they talk about on dates? - Plastic Surgery?

“HEY   let Joe wears pentyhole…just tht only..for the whole morning show..if he can’t find his high heels shoes..gud luck Joe..” - That’s what a listener SMS-ed us as a forfeit if he can’t get a par of high heels for our Friday Face-off next week.

Houses that can be built in one day. There’s this printer that can now print your house out layer by layer, spraying concrete and paint etc… HDB will be very happy!

Hong Lim Park: Matchmaking Park. Bring your son’s or daughter’s photos on Sunday to the park and palm them off! Sure to increase Birth rate.

ANYONE knows how the name Kallang Pudding came about?

It’s Spreading! The Stiff Neck virus has passed from Shareen to Joe! Hossan however, has bought 2 pairs of googles, one with prescription and one without, and for the first time in dunno how many years, went swimming!

All this because he went for a fitness test with a new gym instructor and after having been weighed, measured and prodded and poked (not necessarily in that order),  Hossan is told that he is OVERWEIGHT! 20.5% body fat! My ideal is 13%. OK as Shareen would say, “Das it lor!”  Hossan is going to do 20 mins of cardio EVERYDAY!

Ok, Joe has started on this English Ang Moh accent on air. So we’re wondering whether if we should ALL talk with the Big potato in the mouth all morning. Here are your comments:

-NO.   dont talk like tat lah.. Carol

-U   all can tok like.. Or even make it a face off challenge.. Coz a bit hard to maintain.. Cheelee

-THE   accent sounds so weird.

The Runner’s Epiphany (it’s P. Diddy by the way):

Have you heard of ’sexist parking lots’? Well, Shareen is really bemused about them. Because in Croatia, they hvae demarcated parking lots for women, they are bigger, wider and are decorated with pink flowers. What next? Cute valets?

It has landed! Flight Of The Conchords!
Go check it out. Damn KOK but damn FARNY! Here’s what we played this morning…

 

OK, the BIG discussion topic of the day: The Sentencing of the Organ Transplant Guy. You decide.

On a lighter note: the mayor of a town in Sicily, Italy is offering to sell off old houses for $3! All you need to do is restore these old houses back to their former splendour. Celebrities like Madonna, Naomi Campbell and Peter Gabriel have already shown interest. Hmmm. I think not a bad idea. Why pay $800k for a tiny flat here when you can use that money and retire in a huge villa in the Italian countryside. Local food? Easy, open a food court in the town square and sell Orh Luak and Chai Tow Kway!

Oh and if you wanna drive the Chrysler Sebring for a week, listen out on how to get your name into the draw! Just be the 9th caller when you hear the cue-to-call and tell us the song title and singer and your name goes into the draw. Simple right?

FRIDAY FACE-OFF! ONE WHOLE LAP around the Power 98 office in 3 inch stilettos! Listen in as we rip past the GM’s office and dash for the finish line. Who will make the best time without spraining or worse, breaking an ankle? Tune in tomorrow from 6am.

I started the morning stiffer than usual! I have been battling a stiff neck that has become a back ache. Talk about a stiffie thats become a real PAIN! Any remedies?

You know the song Shanice-I Love Your Smile?  Well just before the saxaphone solo, she says something….Hossan & I think its “Blow Grandpa Blow”. Joe thinks its “Blow Branson Blow”. Its turns out WE ARE ALL WRONG. Its “Blow Brandford Blow” referring to saxaphonist Brandford Marsalis. Yeah we dare call ourselves DJs…tsk tsk!

We discovered Hossan’s deep dark secret. He is a fan of…JASON DONOVAN! Yes remember the guy who teamed up with Kylie on “Especially For You?”. Well he is making a comeback after 15 years with an all covers album. YAWN!!!!

My partners are trying to matchmake me again! This time with has been 80s celebs! They are trying to sell me Andrew Ridgeley (of Wham)!  CANNOT MAKE IT! Even back in the 80s I didn’t fancy him, what more 20 years later!   

VIAGRA. A 7 year old is taking 4 doses everyday to stay alive. She is suffering from an unusual lung condition & the drug works by opening her arteries & improving her blood flow. The two almost 40 year olds that I work with already want all the info they can get on the blue pill

THE VOICE. Don LaFontaine. He has voiced over 4000 movie trailers in his life & chances are you’ve played witness to MANY of them. Comedian Pablo Francisco plays tribute. Check this out!

Got a drastic haircut over the weekend. I’ve had long hair for over 10 years now so I decided to go short.  I was surprised at the things my hairdresser said.

Hairdresser: “Are you attached now?”

Me: “No”

Hairdresser: “Oh good no need to ask boyfriend for permission to cut your hair short”

WHAT? Permission? Do people do that? I know a lot of men love their women with long hair but asking for permission? That’s that’s…..that’s unbeliv….oh hang on JOE just confessed to doing that. He says its only for drastic cuts. Like the one time he thought of shaving his head for charity. Permission wasn’t granted. Well judging from you SMSes, Joe’s not the only one who seeks permission.

Hossan shaved his head some time back, but his decision was based purely on MONEY. A LOT OF IT (Enough to buy a nice new car). He was cast in a film called The Monkey King…no he wasn’t the monkey, he was the bad guy. 

Funny encounters with siblings. Subariah called to tell us about the double decker bed she use to share with her sis. The top deck she was on collasped, and her sister was buried in a moutain of stuff toys, pillow, the cat & her. When Subariah tried to “save” her by pulling her off the bed she woke up & went “What happened ah?” We rewarded Subariah with tickets to the #1 comedy in the UK-Step Brothers.

265 women competed in a stiletto race in Sydney! Oooh high heels baby!  There’s talk about it being the fri faceoff already! Don’t think Joe & Hossan need much persuasion to get into high heels!

Watch this space!

This is day 2 of the having to wear them. Because someone (we suspect Super Mario and Friends) used and then re-placed my headphones, I’m having to deal with these nonsense headphones that form a partial vacuum seal over my ears, so it really feels like my brains are being sucked out through my ears. True, not much to worry about but troubling all the same.

Shaun our technical support dude with long hair, came in after I admitted to not getting much sleep coz I was fraggin’ on my PS3. He came in to say that my geek approval rating just went through the roof. Cool! Hey wait a minute… Geek Approval?

What is all this about Gong Li becoming a Singaporean? People are reacting on line, because she’s supposed to have become one. Others are reacting to her NOT showing up to the “swearing-in” ceremony. Isn’t all this just based on a label on a chair? What if it’s just a little girl whose parents love Gong Li and who couldn’t make it coz he she was ill?

Shareen’s noticed that all the comments have been coming from guys. And your point is?….

A woman in Hong Kong was mugged for her egg-tarts. By a monkey. The bugger made off with the baked goods leaving his victim with with scratches. Hossan reminds all parents to please feed your children during these school holidays - so that even if they act like monkeys, they won’t mug any old ladies for their doughnuts.

How many more kids will Brad have and when will George Clooney settle down? Who cares?! Well Shareen really. They were speaking at the Venice film festival. And yes they were tired answering of answering the same questions so they cheekily answered 2 more by next year and today, respectively. Brad and George are such a good couple.

Angelina Jolie has apparently gone nuts after having the twins. From the affectionate, publicity-loving, UN ambassador, she apparently is now stuck firmly behind the gates of her French chateau and apparently she gets all psycho once any of her kids goes missing for more than 30 seconds. And she takes it all out on Brad. All this according to a friend who is close to her. (Some friend). And to make things worse, Brad is apparently going to be at the Toronto Film Festival, where guess who will be there. Let’s just call her Jen.

Speaking of Jennifer A, Hossan said that Shareen was sporting an Anniston do. We checked. And goodness! A fashion faux pax by Mr. Leong! Turns out she’s never had short hair (like Shareen’s) except maybe as a child, but that was only a temporary lapse in judgement.

My wife downloaded an application to my iPhone. It pops up a lighter flame up top that flickers, sort-a-almost like a real flame. What’s it for? Concerts of course! It’s the environmentally conscious way to show support for your favourite star at a live gig. You can tap the screen to get the flame going on this Zippo simulator or you could just flick your phone. And it’s adjustable. If you really must see it, check out the video here. Warning it’s very boring. She’s taking the iPhone to the Avril concert at the weekend. I am so deleting it after Sunday.

Know a friend who could do with a date? If she’s female she might be interested in checking out the Serbian government’s initiative to import thousands of brides for their frustrated bachelors. Frustrated bachelors? Wonder what response has been to that attractive proposition?

My friend whose chest I was staring at (check out the last previous post) was over at our place over the weekend to calibrate her shoes. These are those Nike thingy-majiggies that communicate with either your iPod or a watch to let you know how far you’ve run. You can also upload your info automatically to the net and have your friends support you. Or you can also compete if you are the sort.

Shareen was talking about the her brother hiding a traffic fine from her Dad. He was driving way over the speed limit and needed Shareen’s financial clout to help keep the secret from her folks. He must have also intercepted the mail that came to the house, coz they never found out about the offence nor the $1000 fine! I’m guessing he still washes Shareen’s car.

Our winner Fazzi in our STEP BOTHERS movie promo had the following to say:

My  dad and bro got into a comical fight. And my bro who was wearing just a sarong confidently got into those kung fu stance and then the sarong drop. He was not wearing a brief and i burst out laughing when i saw his precious one….

Apparently he didn’t realize his sarong had dropped for quite a bit. Based on what she saw, we asked Fazzi if it would be good marketing… “No”. How sad.

I saw a movie over the weekend that Shareen would so love. DEATH RACE! Won’t say too much. The trailer should be enough.

Can you see how Shareen fits in? As a driver lah.

Dark Knight has just joined the very exclusive US$500 Billion club. The only other movie to do that was Titanic. That one did more than US$600 Billion. But took a long time. Hossan explained it was a long movie. 

The Star Trek Experience in Vegas is closing down. “Finally” said Hossan. It turns out he was part of the Star Trek Experience as a performer when it was on tour here in Singapore. As an officer on the flight deck no less. He had to press a few buttons, move the audience to the walls out of harms way and then finally bid them farewell… er… I mean “Live Long And Prosper”.

Be well my friends.

At 5.58am:

Hossan: “SHAREEN! What did your hairdresser do to your hair?? Are you going for the ‘Posh’ look?”

Shareen: “No. I told my hairdresser,’NO BOB’”

Actually, I was talking about the white Patch stuck on the back of her neck, you know, the type for sore necks? So I assumed that in order for the hairstylist to get that asymmetrical look she had to violently twist Shareen’s neck while washing it. Not a bad method if you ask me.

HAPPY TEACHERS’ DAY! So on Friday, I went back to my primary school to do a little performance for the Teachers’ Day Celebrations and to my surprise, my primary one form teacher, Mabel Chee and my primary six Science teacher, Gladys Seneviratne is STILL teaching. We, the Morning Jam crew would like to say THANK YOU! to all our the teachers that have come into our lives and somehow moulded us into the people we are today!

Shareen was chastised by Joe for not doing her ‘homework’, ie. Puzzle Farter. Wa Lau, like damn free lor!

Don’t ever use God’s name in vain! A man who swore to God that he didn’t borrow money from his friend, one minute later, he was struck by lightning. That’ll teach him.

Joe HAD to go to COMEX after having said he wsn’t going to go. He and his wife went to the last 2 hours of COMEX. It’s been a long and difficult decision, to go or not to go? In the end Joe and his wife went. Adele bought a printer-fax-copier thingy, Joe bought…nothing.

We decided that if there was ever an Olympic event for Complaining, Joe wins the Gold medal. Ok I dug myself into a hole when I also said Shareen would be in the running for complainer of the year. But what do I know, I’m just an innocent bystander. Not as innocent as Joe who caught staring at his wife’s friend’s chest, with his wife next to him! Apparently, she was wearing a HUGE silver heart-shaped pendant that was suspended in between, and this is according to Joe, “her brother and sister”. So, fascinated, he kept staring until it occured to him that he was staring at her chest at the same time. Joe apologised, coz his wife Adele was next to him but the friend made it worse by saying, “Oh it happens all the time!” Turned out the pendant was actually a lipstick with lipbrush, palette and all!

Shareen doesn’t mind people staring at her as long as it’s done with subtility. After all she checks out guys’ butts!

Commission thieves at COMEX???? Joe saw that happen. They bought a camera, and another sales person tried to take away the original saleperson’s commission! GASP! HOW DARE! Hossan slaps the rude sales person! *PIAK!

We gave away a HAMILTON Watch today. congratulations to Theresa Chan!

I went to a Wuxia restaurant on Saturday! it was DAMN fun! Pugilistic and Martial Arts abound. “XIAO ER! bring me your best wine!” Delicacies from Anhui are on the menu. Go check it out, Temple Street, Chinatown. It’s called “Feng Bo Jiu Jia Zhuang”.

Oh and we are playing a contest everyday, where you can stand a chance to drive the Chrysler Sebring for a week. Listen out on how to play!

WA PIANG! JOE JUST FARTED! ok bye.

While the kids pay tribute to their teachers, we are celebrating the fact that its FRIDAY!

Hossan & Joe teamed up to quiz me, posing an IMPOSSIBLE challenge! ALDISSA is known for taking perfectly good music & remaking it in a bossa nova style. They played a track & I had to try to make out what it was. Eh….i failed :( It was Irene Cara’s F.A.M.E

It is international whaleshark day & they are trying to protest an integrated resort in S’pore from keeping one in captivity. This inspired our topic “Would you like to be someone’s pet?” Hossan’s says no, I say based on what a good life my cat “Ocho” has, I wouldn’t mind & Joe says he wouldn’t mind being Paris Hilton’s Chihuahua. Can u imagine it? Joe, a small fluffy dog yapping non-stop?

Mushroom Soup caused a plane to land! The jar of soup leaked from an overheated locker unto a passenger who was ALLERGIC to mushroom soup & his neck SWELLED UP, he had problems breathing & they had to do an emergency landing to save his life! Joe thinks my cooking is equally dangerous. I say no more homemade NUTELLA cupcakes for him!!!

Joe is a COMPLAINER! He can out-complain ANYONE. He’s now taken issue with the “inspirational” signs that have been put up in the building. OK granted this one is really quite daft “Life is reality without an eraser”. So we asked u to SMS with your original “inspirational quotes” for an IPOD shuffle, we were overwhelmed! Here are some entries…

MINIMUM   planning, maximum fun

SHOULD   call it “life doesn’t have a save game function” –samuel

ALL   you gotta do is keep your eye on the ball - Forrest Gump’s secret of success… Paul

 TIME   is like a leaky tap. Even when you’re not using it, you’re still gonna be paying for it - Victor Tan

WOMEN   are like cars. Good to have, but expensive to maintain. almost always great brand new, but depreciates with age.

WHEN   the shit hits the fan be thankful you are not standing under it

YOU   prolly cant say this on air. But i came across it online many years ago and cant forget it. - procrastination is like masturbation. At first it feels good but in the end you are only screwing yourself.

THE   grass is greener on the other side. Do u know y? Bcoz there’s more shit there. hence, Its more fertile. Sham

AND our winning entry…

WHEN   ur life flashes before u like a movie, make sure ìt’s a blockbuster worth watching

Comfort food….I love mash…yup mash potatoes esp with garlic & butter. I love it the kfc mash gravy as well. It makes me feel “looked after” like its all good in the world. Fish porridge does the same for Hossan. Joe’s a sucker for bacon, eggs & toast. Actually bacon with anything works for him.

Puzzle farter is a seriously stupid, ridiculous game thats super funny! check it out http://puzzlefarter.com Joe won hands down in our fri faceoff. He got to level 14!

We are going to be terrorising the roads starting Mon. Look out for us on the back of 10 double decker buses cruising round town. Hossan has extended an invitation to vandalise our pics. He would like a moustache. I would like a mole ala Marilyn Monroe

Have a great weekend…i’m gonna sleep!

So Joe gets out of his car after parking it and sees the ground ‘moving’. It was a whole mass of, according to Joe, HUGE ants moving around. Yesterday was cockroaches, today ants. Is the end of the whole as we know it? Are insects taking over? by the way, Shareen had to stop to save Joe. She picked him up from the Carpark!

Shareen loves the Carpenters! I love Laura Branigan! Joe was saying that his mum would say one thing but would mean th opposite eg. “WOW I hope you ‘enjoy’ the rock concert”. I said my mum wouldn’t go that far, she’d just rip up the tickets to teh concert in front of me. BOO HOO HOO I never got to see Laura Branigan in the end!

Anyway, so we played Shareen this amazing cover of Top Of The World, check it out on Wing Tunes.

CLONE WARS opens today! And we found out that Yoda has trouble signing up for Facebook! It happened because this woman named Hiroko Yoda tried to join Facebook and was rejected because her last named is one of the names that Facebook blocks because they were afraid that it would be abused. So poor Hiroko can’t use her real name.

There is a rumour that Star Wars Director George Lucas named the character Yoda, based on a Japanese film director he’d met many years ago who was named…(drumroll please) Yoda!

Joe reminds us ALL that COMEX is happening this weekend. OK ’nuff said.

“MOTHER TALK”. What does your mum always say to you? Repeats and repeats. Is there a handbook on sale?

Shareen’s Mum: “THIS IS NOT A HOTEL!”

Joe’s Dad: “In my day…”

Hossan’s Mum: “You don’t know how lucky you are…”

Here are some of your SMSes:

“WELL,   i always think mamas r all graduates from è Same School !! Dun u thk so? -yh”

“HEY,   have you check your bad breath? You’re going to drive away girls..”

“PRETTY   is, as pretty does. Otherwise ugly actions make even a beautiful person ugly.”

“my mama always u think so easy ah.. Cheelee”

“MY   mum always tell me to go to shower. I’m a very dirty girl.”

“DON   lend money 2 guys, don b guarantor. They are cheaters!”

“Luckily that thing sticks to your body,if not, you will misplaced it as well.-thats what she says everytime I lose the house key or my wallet or etc.(elfy)”

“MY mum used to say i should have given birth to an egg instead of you. At least i can eat it! Ha ha”

OK this one wins the Cinq Salon Voucher. Congrats HELEN!

We played Lindsay Lohan’s ‘Rumors’. Guess who she’s seeing at the moment, who has helped Lohan curb her partying ways?

Lindsay and …?

How long would you wait for your friends to come pick you up? This guy waited 27 years! This Taiwanese Fella went fishing in the Reunion Islands in the Indian Ocean, he was told that the boat would set sail in 15 days time. He came back 15 days later and the boat was gone! So abandoned, with no money, he begged on the streets. But now 27 years later, he speaks French, has opened up a Chinese restaurant and has been married 3 times. Now why couldn’t the cast of Lost just do that?

Mooncakes are running amok in the studio! An itinerant yolk was seen lurking without the rest of the mooncake. Joe loves the yolk, Hossan doesn’t, so between the two of us, we can share the whole one. And now there is a 6-yolk mooncake available??? WHERE?

Hossan will endeavor to find the ultimate Mooncake…the lychee-tini mooncake sounds yummy. It’s from the Summer Pavilion, Ritz Carlton Millennia. Must be expensive.

BUT wait! a 23cm slice of cake in the UK sold for about $3000??? Yup.

A large slice of cake made to celebrate the wedding of Lady Diana Spencer and Prince Charles has been sold for £1,000 (S$3000) at an auction house in Gloucestershire.

The nine inch (23cm) square piece was given to Moyra Smith, a cleaner at Clarence House in London, by a royal chef in 1981. The slice is decorated with the royal coat of arms in icing and was preserved in clingfilm. It comes with a signed thank you letter to Mrs Smith from the royal couple.

Shareen says there is a UK tradition to keep the wedding cake for a year in your freezer then have it again on your first anniversary. I have 1 word…Diarrhoea.

OK FINAL Mooncake rollcall! WHERE is this mini snow skin mango with almond and melon seeds mooncake? Hua Ting, Orchard Hotel of course.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! LOL! Shareen sings to herself when the songs are playing on air. So Joe tried to record her in secret to see if she was singing along to the Spice Girls. SHE WAS! “really really wanna wanna zigga zig ah!”

And as for Miss SISTER Italy, it’s been cancelled. They don’t want the nuns to do it because it may become a bad habit.

Joe’s in pain (substitute word ”a” can also be used) so I offered to takeover the blog today.

What’s the Malaysian equivalent for Ah-Beng?

Joe is convinced it is Ah-heng. (His friend has had some experience with video delivery boy named Ah-heng). He might have an orange comb sticking out his back pocket but we need more confirmation. So anyone can help? And while you’re at it, what’s the equivalent for Ah Lian as well?

We realise we have a criminal amongst us. HOSSAN confessed to be in posession of some unreturned library books. HA! U too? Be careful ah….a woman in the US was arrested & handcuffed for the same offence. Look out for the queues coming to a library near you! 

“LESS crab n more songs pls” said an SMS we received.

Don’t think they mistook us for Long Beach Seafood so teacher Joe taught them the use of the word “crap” instead.

We all struggle in the morning, some more than others. Joe claims he is lucky to be alive. His sandwich tried to kill him this morning. He was driving, listening to radio excerpts & eating, when he had to sneeze. In an effort to prevent the debris from landing on his sterring wheel, he had this herculean challenge where he had to switch hands while driving, still hold to the sandwich & …..oh its disgusting & he still has some egg stuck to the left side of his face

 Talking about killer sandwiches. I googled & this is what I found!!! Take a closer look!

Strange combination of foods. Hossan had curry infused chocolate mousse with sweet corn ice cream and saffron bubbles. EWWW! He said he thought it would taste like DOG POO & he still ate it anyway & it turned out to be AMAZING!  OK to each his own, my fav combi was campbell’s ABC soup poured all over century eggs. Yumm Scrum!  Just when we thought we were weird we got your SMSes

“DIPPING   hot salty french fries in cold milk shake n quickly devour it when its still cold on the outside n hot on the inside! Yummilicious! :-P”

“DURIAN mix together with white rice and couple with tiger beer! Fwah… Makan sutra seeto taste it, he will run wild. So shiok”

“CHICKEN cooked in coke Coffee spare ribs Dough fritters dipped in coffee.”

“NUTELLA and mayo go a sandwich”

“FOR shereen - mayonnaise and me!”

This is not just any other beauty pageant. Miss Sister Italy. Joe thought it was a drag queen contest. It turned out to be a contest for nuns organised by a priest who feels we should celebrate God given beauty. No Swimsuit segment, no word about evening wear yet. Open for entries now online.

Miserable @ work? Well you’re not alone. So says a survey that found out that only 16% of employees in Asia feel effective! This is compared to 39% in the UK! Also one third of workers in Asia were unhappy with their boss. Eh…. only one third? Doesn’t almost EVERYONE have something bad to say about the boss?

Joe is far more concerned about the 65% of S’poreans who reportedly want to leave S’pore when they retire. He hopes with more people gone it means cheaper housing. I say WAIT LONG LONG. So he proposed a radical idea-why not S’pore make an offer to buy Perth. HUH? Well think about it, the wineries, the beautiful scenery, the slower pace, already there are a huge number of S’poreans living there….well a listener thinks that means the ERP will hit Perth soon.

How cool is this? In the US, you can now register to vote via your PS3.

Great for those lazy days when you end up spending the WHOLE DAY glued to your controller, trying again & again to better your score! DON’t try to deny that its happened to you! Even I have spent all day battling monsters, racing cars & using my killer moves to decapitate my opponent’s head, pausing only to order kfc delivery

Toy Story is back! And this time they are introducing a new character. Michael Keaton (ex-batman) is the voice of….KEN DOLL. Wahahaha! Love it! My fav character are still the aliens who go “You saved our lives, we’re eternally grateful!”

What toy would Hossan be if he made it on Toy Story 4? A listener says a metrosexual GI Joe. Hmm…Hossan think that means wearing a blue jumpsuit zipped down to the waist. Eh….don’t think so lah!

I have offered my services as coach for Singapore table tennis team. It’s very confusing, it seemed that his boss said that the coach was fired, and then he wasn’t and then he was not. I’m ready, either way. Or not. Anyhow, they’re back today with the rest of the team. Hossan’s volunteering himself as the chief floral consultant.

DId you hear about the Cuban that was banned. No not the cigar, we’re talking about the actual guy. In fact the Tae Kwon Do champion of the world as well as his coach have been banned for life from official TKD events for what he did at the Olympics. He kicked the referee. Shareen said that that was too harsh. Me? I’m pretty OK with it.

The other big thing, is the controversy over China’s gymnast He Ke Xin. Other teams are accusing her of being too young to take part at the Olympics. I’m sure most of this is because of how small they all look. In fact Nadia Comaneci, who made the news all those years ago as the first gymnast to get perfect 10s, said that when she was growing up (or not), she was fed all kinds of stuff to keep her young and her bones flexible.

But the latest thing to crop up, is some cached info from the international search engines… Here’s the story…

COMPUTER EXPERT FINDS MORE PROOF OF UNDERAGE CHINESE GYMNAST _ A determined U.S. computer expert has delved into cached pages on the Internet to unearth Chinese official documents showing a gymnast who took gold in the uneven bars competition,edging the U.S.’s Nastia Liukin, may indeed be underage. Controversy over whether He Kexin is under the minimum age of 16 has surrounded her participation in the Beijing Olympics. The latest challenge over the age of the tiny Olympian comes from the discovery through a cyberspace maze of Chinese official documents listing her date of birth. China said her passport, issued in February, gives her birthday as January 1, 1992. The International Olympic Committee said proof from her passport is good enough. The latest unofficial investigation was carried out by computer security expert for the Intrepidus Group, whose site, Stryde Hax, revealed a detailed forensic search for He’s age.

… First he simply tried Google, only to find that an official listing by the Chinese sports administration that had given her age could no longer be accessed. Then he tried the Google cache, only to find that He’s name had been removed. Finally, he tried the cache of Chinese search engine Baidu. There, he found that Baidu lists two spreadsheets in He’s name, both giving her date of birth as January 1, 1994 — making her 14 years and 220 days old and too young to compete at the Beijing games. The lists were compiled by the General Administration of Sport of China.

NOTE: We are not taking any sides on this story. None of us reads chinese nor do we know how to present an enquiry on Baidu.com

ON Friday, I was a the fireworks show at Marina Bay. Very cool show. Not so cool valet parking experience. I really don’t like to valet park my car, because I always have to clear stuff out of the way and then hand over the vehicle and then realise that my house keys are also on the damned key ring. Anyway, they were just doing their job when the put some of my stuff away for me in the glove compartment and in doing so bent one of my ipod connectors out of shape. Sheesh. Pure accident - but EXACTLY why I don’t usually valet my car.

Speaking of valet parking, have you ever been at the receiving end of valet discrimination. Shareen’s driven both a sporty number and the not-so-sporty European compact she’s got now, and she got much better service when she had the sports car. I guess she didn’t know about the rules that some of the hotels have about the cars that are parked up front. I have a number of friends in the hotel business who have told me about the “guidelines” that the management puts out regarding cars good for the image of the hotel.

Do you know what a suppository is? It’s good to know so that when a doctor prescribes that for you you don’t take it the wrong way. Shareen was sharing about her friend a gynecologist who needed her clients to take their temperature. So she gave them oral thermometers. They ALL took their temperatures. Not all of them… er shall we say… orally. 

More to come later….